Hello Everyone!!!
Today has been a strange day!!! Well i suppose every day has been since i came home from hospital.
My Son Georgie has been home again (no school) as he is poorly with a cold and temprature and sore throat!!! So any plans i have, are on hold till he is well enough!
I had wanted to visit Laila but havent since Saturday this makes me feel really cross and anxious with myself! But if i drag georgie out that is not fair if he feels unwell, so ill have to stay cross till i go! I wanted to check her flowers and take the daisy chain i bought up to her grave as i feel this would be nice for her to have laying around her plot until the ground settles! So ill have to see what tomorrow brings!
Its a strange thing grieving one day to the next is so different! And im now finding it hard trying to be strong for all my family (even though im not letting on to them) I keep finding things todo so that i can keep my mind busy and doing the normal things we all have to do on a daily basis pay bills and answer the phone (this is hard as people ask oh how are you and i say yeh not bad ) But i dont want to have to talk to them about it!!!
I have even found that all the things i recieved from the hospital for laila all her bits that i took into hospital for me are still in the bag !!! All the lovely pictures that my brother took and mandy and my own pictures i dont even want to look at them or go through her stuff, All the sympathy cards i got they never even had a place in my house as they just all got put in her bag , ive left all my stuff at the other end of the living room ( Am i just trying to ignore all this i dont know) But the only thing i found was listenning to the c.d i made with beautiful tracks on i listenned to that this afternoon and i found my self breaking and then holding it back because of my boys, i didnt want them to see me upset!!! I have had a constant ache across my chest since i came home without Laila and it eased off for a couple of days and nows it back!!! Is all this normal i dont know!
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day !! 
I have overloaded my head with all sorts Halloween then its my sister Mandys birthday and then my son Georgies Birthday and then there is Fireworks Night and then Christmas and i seem to of scrambled it all into my head at once !!! Why!!!?
Told you i had a strange day !!! I think maybe a Goodnights sleep will do me some good i hope******
Well its a short one tonight so ill say Goodnight and Godbless and thankyou to those who took the time to leave comments, They are much appreciated! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
KERRYANNE
Thanks to chris at cab creations for this tag
5 comments:
Hi Kerry,
Leave the bag untill you feel more able to empty it,
if you want to break down and cry then do it, dont hold it back,
as for phone calls, if you dont feel like talking, get someone else to answer it tell whoever that your busy or out and will them call back, then forget about it, or just let the dam phone ring, hope that Georgie gets better soon,
love N hugs Lynne xx
Sis, don't hold those tears back ~ you need to grieve sweetheart ~ sometimes it doesn't hurt if the little ones see you crying, it will help them learn that it is ok to cry too. The grieving process is different for every individual going through it, what you need to accept is that you WILL go through it and it will come out in whatever way is right at the time. Don't put yourself under too much pressure - you don't need to worry about birthdays, george's one will get sorted ok...you can forget the old womans one for a start cos she has! lol YOU are important, and for you to be there for the kids you need to be ok. Laila's daisy chain will get to lay where its intended WHEN you feel the time is right to take it there, perhaps we can do it on saturday? Get some sleep little sis! Love you xxx
One day at a time, Kerry, take it easy. It's no little thing you've gone through. Don't put it off forever though. You need to confront it, and give it a place. Be well
Guido
http://journals.aol.co.uk/pharmolo/NorthernTrip
I couldn't agree with Mandy more, it's okay to cry sweetie...sometimes just crying and getting some of it out
takes a load off your chest.... When my aunt passed away in march from cancer, my chest ached too...really bad...I think it was from all the grieving... I think sometimes we miss them so much that our heart/chest aches....
((((((((((((Kerry))))))))))))))))))))))
Rest when you can....I know times like these takes alot out of a person emotionally..and physically. I love your journal!
Hugss..~Terri~
((((((((((((((((((((KERRYANNE)))))))))))))))))))))))))i know its so hard for you,you do need to grieve,maybe your whole family in time needs to grieve together.One day a time,one munite at a time,how ever time you need.Crying is good for the soul,for your heart.I never been through what you been through,dont know what its like,but watching my sister go through it,it hurts.You are very loved here in J-land.Take all the time in the world for you to heal.You will never forget,but in time,it will get better.Have a nice night.
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